Category Archives: Connection and love

Date Night Gone Right

This special time business is as much for us as it is for them. It allows parenting to be joyful and loving, provides space for us all to be our best. Jane Nelsen, author of Positive Discipline says, “Children do better when they feel better.” I think this goes for grown ups too – we all do better when we feel better. Continue reading

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Love. Attention or Connection?

We all long for the feeling that we are connected: that we belong and that we matter. When children (out of awareness) get the sense that they are no longer in that great big web of belonging, when we are busy being busy, when we are in a hurry, then they try for the closest substitute for connection that they know – attention. Continue reading

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Growing (Our) Character: Using the Practice of Gratitude, Centering and Forgiveness

The most challenging parenting moments for me are keeping my own emotional triggers in check when I am confronted with conflict involving my kids. Before I even realize I am acting from a place of emotion I am acting like the mother I so desperately do not want to be. I feel hot and tingly all over my body and, well, out of control. Guess what follows these mommy meltdowns? Shame. Shame that I can’t hold it together, that I am treating a person I love more than life itself in a way that makes them feel bad. Shame that I work to teach parents the principles of Positive Discipline and that I have failed, yet again, to embody those principles. Ick! Continue reading

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When We Notice That Life is Fragile

Life is fragile. The call to notice this is always there, but in a way that we can ignore. And we do. It is easier to move through life without always being aware of its tenuousness; that it could disappear at any moment. Continue reading

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Which Wolf Would You Feed?

There is a Native American parable about an elder talking to his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One is full of hatred, envy, jealousy, greed, criticism and arrogance. The other is full of peace, love, hope, gratitude, humility, compassion, and faith.” The grandson thought about this for a while and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” To which Grandfather simply replied, “The one you feed.”

In this, the season when our North American communities tend to rev themselves up into a flurry of holiday preparations how can we keep our compass and grow our ability to be compassionate, loving? How can we create what we long for: a family that is connected, generous and loving?
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Why Do They Misbehave When We Are in a Hurry?

Misbehavior isn’t random. You already know that. Kids often misbehave at very inconvenient times! It happens particularly when we, the parent figures, are in a hurry. It is a consistent (and predictable) pattern. Are they out to “get” you? Well, yes and no. They are not out to “get” you in the sense that you will be bothered, annoyed, trapped or otherwise challenged. They are out to “get” you in the sense that they are seeking a connection with you. Continue reading

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What is at the Center?

“What is at the center?” has been a question that has popped up a lot in my life recently. For me it is another way of asking, “For the sake of what am I doing this?” As I think forward to Thanksgiving and the many December holidays I’m asking myself what I really want. For me there are many layers of answers. I enjoy the company of my family and friends. I enjoy the rituals and traditions that in someway have made me who I am, that have given a structure to times that can be stressful, and when shared, connect our family with shared practices and a shared language. Continue reading

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