Category Archives: Growing Responsibility
I started to write about helping our kids to develop resiliency last night, thinking that I would have the perfect words to describe to other parents how to go about doing this. Now I am starting over. Because something came clear to me today… It’s not about them. It’s about us. Continue reading
One thing people with resilience have in common is a supportive network. You are your child’s first and most important “network of support.” You establish the ground from which they can learn, take risks, make mistakes and come back to safety. With solid ground beneath them children have more ability to overcome challenges. Continue reading
It’s pretty hard to learn about money if you don’t have any. Consider using an allowance to teach your kids about financial responsibility. And if what you really want is to teach about money – do not tie that allowance to chores it will distract from the lessons of money. Continue reading
It’s great to have goals and to reach for things – but in our culture we often do that from a place of not being “good enough.” Daily we are given the message that we are not thin enough, fit enough, happy enough, rich enough or smart enough with all sorts of media messages about how to get thinner, fitter or happier or how we can buy more things so we can have the experience of “enough.” Is there another way to approach the New Year without slipping into the trap of “not enoughness?” Continue reading
You know how adults sound on those old Charlie Brown cartoons? Wah, wah, wah, wah, waaaaaahhhhh…” Yes, I am guilty as well. We just want to get our kids moving and we want them to just listen and do what we say. Then we feel irritated and challenged when it seems as though they are ignoring us or dragging their feet… Are they feeling respected? No. Are they feeling capable? No. Are they invited to cooperate? More like invited to a power struggle… Continue reading
We are about to enter what might be considered “the season of stuff (and stuffing)” and I’m not referring to the food you put inside your Thanksgiving turkey. How does this happen? Well, it does feel good to give to others and it is wonderful to connect with friends and family around a full table of food. But there are other forces at work here. My sense is that in this part of the year when the days are shorter (in the northern hemisphere) we tend to lose our collective compass about what is really important in our lives. We take our cue from others and wonder if we are doing or buying or having enough. The media makes a push for spending money on things and fancy food.
What would happen if we paused and asked ourselves what really matters in the long run? Continue reading
The real question for all of us is: What invites us to respond in drastic ways to our childrens’ misbehavior and mistakes? My hunch is that is fear. Many of the parents I work with are afraid when their children lie, steal, are mean to their siblings, swear, wear sexually provocative clothing, investigate pornography online, start cutting, text or sext at all hours of day or night, smoke pot…etc. Continue reading
Back a long time ago when you decided to have kids you probably imagined talking to them, playing with them, taking care of them when they were sick. You probably imagined that when you talked to them that they would respond. You’d be interested in them – and they’d be interested in you.
Funny how it doesn’t always work that way. Your teen might want you now (especially when you are busy) and then, when you do want to spend time with her, she is busy texting or is just plain non-communicative. Continue reading
When I first started teaching parenting classes, I had a couple who came up with the idea of asking their daughters, “What is your request?” They were parents of preschoolers and I’m sure their days were filled with hearing what their children didn’t want to do, or didn’t want to eat. It was such a simple solution and once again, I, as the parent educator, got to learn something from the parents in my class. I brought this new parenting tool home with me and found that it was a wonderful way to communicate with my two children. Continue reading