Category Archives: Growing Responsibility
The school year is well underway and fall routines are settling in. What is the homework routine in your family? As a parenting coach and consultant to schools I often hear complaints about homework from both parents and from teachers. Each expects the other to take a little more responsibility for homework. Interesting isn’t it? Where is the student in all of this? What can we do to grow the student’s responsibility? Continue reading
Quite a few of the families I consult with struggle with the notion of children doing some of the family work. Sometimes it is because it is just plain hard to get your child to set the table or load the dishwasher and we get tired of reminding. Sometimes it is because of a belief that it is the adult’s job to do all of the family work and to let the children play. I think it is better to share both work and play.
I’m guessing that I’m probably not the only parent that has heard the complaint “It’s not fair!” from one of my children and recognized that there was some truth in your child’s words. What do you say to a child who has an internal justice meter tightly woven just beneath the skin? Continue reading
I started to write about helping our kids to develop resiliency last night, thinking that I would have the perfect words to describe to other parents how to go about doing this. Now I am starting over. Because something came clear to me today… It’s not about them. It’s about us. Continue reading
One thing people with resilience have in common is a supportive network. You are your child’s first and most important “network of support.” You establish the ground from which they can learn, take risks, make mistakes and come back to safety. With solid ground beneath them children have more ability to overcome challenges. Continue reading
It’s pretty hard to learn about money if you don’t have any. Consider using an allowance to teach your kids about financial responsibility. And if what you really want is to teach about money – do not tie that allowance to chores it will distract from the lessons of money. Continue reading
It’s great to have goals and to reach for things – but in our culture we often do that from a place of not being “good enough.” Daily we are given the message that we are not thin enough, fit enough, happy enough, rich enough or smart enough with all sorts of media messages about how to get thinner, fitter or happier or how we can buy more things so we can have the experience of “enough.” Is there another way to approach the New Year without slipping into the trap of “not enoughness?” Continue reading
You know how adults sound on those old Charlie Brown cartoons? Wah, wah, wah, wah, waaaaaahhhhh…” Yes, I am guilty as well. We just want to get our kids moving and we want them to just listen and do what we say. Then we feel irritated and challenged when it seems as though they are ignoring us or dragging their feet… Are they feeling respected? No. Are they feeling capable? No. Are they invited to cooperate? More like invited to a power struggle… Continue reading
We are about to enter what might be considered “the season of stuff (and stuffing)” and I’m not referring to the food you put inside your Thanksgiving turkey. How does this happen? Well, it does feel good to give to others and it is wonderful to connect with friends and family around a full table of food. But there are other forces at work here. My sense is that in this part of the year when the days are shorter (in the northern hemisphere) we tend to lose our collective compass about what is really important in our lives. We take our cue from others and wonder if we are doing or buying or having enough. The media makes a push for spending money on things and fancy food.
What would happen if we paused and asked ourselves what really matters in the long run? Continue reading