Tag Archives: parenting

Making Space for Awareness

Ever have one of those evenings where you go to bed and wonder where the day went wrong? You know that the kids were not on their best behavior but also have the sinking feeling inside that you weren’t the exactly best role model either. It can be uncomfortable to admit that despite your best efforts you aren’t always the parent you want to be. Most of us have parenting moments like that – where the parent who can listen, or set clear limits, or be patient has disappeared some where and this other human being shows up to take our place. Ick. Continue reading

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Support for your Parenting: It can make a difference

When was the last time you had one of those “bad parent days?” Maybe it was an awful fight between siblings, an extremely difficult bedtime routine that ended up with you yelling or hitting your children, or maybe you got so frustrated for another reason that you said something you wish you had never said. You flipped your lid. Then later you felt bad about it. Maybe even awful. Continue reading

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Non-stop Negotiation Getting You Down?

As the parent it doesn’t always feel so great when all of your positions get shaved away by your budding courtroom lawyer. It is exhausting. Setting limits firmly and still honoring the dignity of your child isn’t really hard, but it takes practice. Continue reading

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Small Steps into the New Year

A lot is written this time of year about what we “resolve” to do for the future. Goals are great but it can be really discouraging when, despite good intentions, they are not met. Continue reading

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Time-in for Children: Re-gathering Response-ability

Children (and all of us) do better when they feel better. Our culture tends to want to “teach” children who are misbehaving by having them feel worse “so they’ll learn not to do it again.” We forget that if the child had felt included, important, or weren’t so tired or hungry she likely would have handled the situation well to begin with. Instead of teaching by hurting the goal of a time-in is to help our child learn how to regain their “better” sense of self so that she can come back to the situation and meet the challenge. With practice, children get better at “re-gathering” by themselves. Remember, this kind of “feeling better” is not happiness – it is a sense of being able to respond (be response-able) from a centered place. Continue reading

Posted in Connection and love, Feelings and emotions, Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs, Self regulation | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Time In

If you are a parent you probably recognize that feeling inside that comes when you’ve really tried your best and NOTHING seems to be working. You are tired, dinner is almost ready, the table needs to be set and the kids are bickering. Or maybe you are in a hurry and everyone knows what he or she is supposed to do but you think are the only one who really cares if you get to Grandma’s even close to the time you promised to be there.

Ick. For me it is kind of a frantic, out of control desperateness that starts in my chest and moves outward. Continue reading

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From “Mis-takes” to Compassion

It turns out that the distinction between “I made a mistake” and “I am a mistake” is a big deal. When we make a mistake, we may feel bad, but we can learn from what we did. When we come to the erroneous conclusion that we are a mistake, that there is something wrong with us as a person or that we are defective, that becomes the main “learning.” Continue reading

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The compasses and maps of parenting

Contributed by Melanie Miller, M.Ed. I had the recent opportunity to take my daughter and her friends orienteering. Orienteering is where you use a map, compass and your powers of observation to navigate through a course of pre-set checkpoints. It’s … Continue reading

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Right Now the Answer is “No”

How many times have you had one of your children ask for something that he or she really wanted – and also really wanted the answer right away? If you’re like me, it felt like taking my brain and twisting it into a pretzel for a bit. Continue reading

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Parenting with the Body in Mind

We sure hear a lot these days about the brain – and brain science. When we hear the word “brain” most of us think of the soft stuff that is inside our skull. That is, in fact, our “brain.” But it turns out that our body is not just the thing that carries our brain around. Human nervous systems are incredibly complex and there is a lot of information exchanged between the brain and the rest of the body. We can use this information to help ourselves and to help our kids. Continue reading

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