Monthly Archives: May 2012

Helping Children Deal with Grief and Loss

The events of the last week in Seattle have been tragic and heart-breaking. There are too many innocent victims of violence that carries no easy explanation. As parents it reminds us of something we prefer not to notice most of the time: we cannot guarantee the safety of the people we love most. We can do our best. We can worry, we can be anxious, we can teach our children life skills that will be helpful – and things happen. People get sick, crazy things happen and we are reminded of how love holds us together even in the face of great loss. Continue reading

Posted in Connection and love, Feelings and emotions | 1 Comment

What Kind of Bystander are You?

Imagine that your daughter and her friends are sitting hanging out in the family room – talking and texting and you hear, “Oh that is so gay!” Do you feel uncomfortable but remain silent because you don’t want to embarrass your daughter? Do you wait and talk about it in private afterwards? What do you do when you hear Uncle Alfred make a derogatory comment about women or children or people of a different race or sexual orientation? Do you just say to yourself or your children, “That’s Alfred, he is a little off color?”
What do you think that is teaching our children about how to be an effective bystander?
What could do you do instead? Continue reading

Posted in Conflict, Mistakes yours and theirs, Setting limits, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

An Ode to the Wild Things

Our children are born into an adult world where many experiences are new, confusing and often scary. They are working hard at taming the wild things. As parents, we can help our children make sense of the frightening things in the larger world around us. Continue reading

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Celebrating Mothers

As a mother you may still do a big share of the household organization, shopping, cooking and generally making sure that the “operation works.” It is behind the scenes work that can be exhausting. It is often invisible, under appreciated and yet critically important. Of course you stay up at night with a child who has a fever or can’t breathe. Of course you worry when your teen stops talking, comes in later than she promised, or brings homes friends that don’t seem to treat her respectfully. And it makes a difference. Continue reading

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Sharing and “Seeing Big”

Parents often ask, “How to I get my kids to share?” I think underneath they are asking even bigger and more important questions: “How do I teach my children to see the world beyond their skin?” “How do I teach empathy?” “How do I teach them to see the world through another person’s eyes so that they can be curious, compassionate and contribute to making the world a better place?” These are questions all of us ask – sometimes about our children, about our colleagues and yes – even about ourselves. Continue reading

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