Category Archives: Conflict

Family Meetings

Family meetings are a powerful tool to build the life skills that we want our children to have.  The family meeting process helps children learn good listening skills, cooperation, mutual respect, and effective solution-focused problem solving.  The consistent practice of … Continue reading

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Why Do They Misbehave When We Are in a Hurry?

Misbehavior isn’t random. You already know that. Kids often misbehave at very inconvenient times! It happens particularly when we, the parent figures, are in a hurry. It is a consistent (and predictable) pattern. Are they out to “get” you? Well, yes and no. They are not out to “get” you in the sense that you will be bothered, annoyed, trapped or otherwise challenged. They are out to “get” you in the sense that they are seeking a connection with you. Continue reading

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What is your Request?

When I first started teaching parenting classes, I had a couple who came up with the idea of asking their daughters, “What is your request?” They were parents of preschoolers and I’m sure their days were filled with hearing what their children didn’t want to do, or didn’t want to eat. It was such a simple solution and once again, I, as the parent educator, got to learn something from the parents in my class. I brought this new parenting tool home with me and found that it was a wonderful way to communicate with my two children. Continue reading

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What Kind of Bystander are You?

Imagine that your daughter and her friends are sitting hanging out in the family room – talking and texting and you hear, “Oh that is so gay!” Do you feel uncomfortable but remain silent because you don’t want to embarrass your daughter? Do you wait and talk about it in private afterwards? What do you do when you hear Uncle Alfred make a derogatory comment about women or children or people of a different race or sexual orientation? Do you just say to yourself or your children, “That’s Alfred, he is a little off color?”
What do you think that is teaching our children about how to be an effective bystander?
What could do you do instead? Continue reading

Posted in Conflict, Mistakes yours and theirs, Setting limits, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

An Ode to the Wild Things

Our children are born into an adult world where many experiences are new, confusing and often scary. They are working hard at taming the wild things. As parents, we can help our children make sense of the frightening things in the larger world around us. Continue reading

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Making Amends

We can remember that being sorry is a feeling. Asking children to say, “I’m sorry” while they are still upset or feeling hurt themselves gives a confusing message to both parties. And yet… it is important to teach our children to make amends. What do we do? Continue reading

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Why is “No” so Hard to Understand?

We might THINK we are saying no, but our bodies might be giving a different message. Continue reading

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