Category Archives: Setting limits

Teaching Kids About Money

It’s pretty hard to learn about money if you don’t have any. Consider using an allowance to teach your kids about financial responsibility. And if what you really want is to teach about money – do not tie that allowance to chores it will distract from the lessons of money. Continue reading

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Parents: Trapped by Our Fears

The real question for all of us is: What invites us to respond in drastic ways to our childrens’ misbehavior and mistakes? My hunch is that is fear. Many of the parents I work with are afraid when their children lie, steal, are mean to their siblings, swear, wear sexually provocative clothing, investigate pornography online, start cutting, text or sext at all hours of day or night, smoke pot…etc. Continue reading

Posted in Feelings and emotions, Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs, Self-care, Setting limits | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

What Kind of Bystander are You?

Imagine that your daughter and her friends are sitting hanging out in the family room – talking and texting and you hear, “Oh that is so gay!” Do you feel uncomfortable but remain silent because you don’t want to embarrass your daughter? Do you wait and talk about it in private afterwards? What do you do when you hear Uncle Alfred make a derogatory comment about women or children or people of a different race or sexual orientation? Do you just say to yourself or your children, “That’s Alfred, he is a little off color?”
What do you think that is teaching our children about how to be an effective bystander?
What could do you do instead? Continue reading

Posted in Conflict, Mistakes yours and theirs, Setting limits, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

From Nagging to Noticing

Ever feel like the nagging parent…? “Why is your backpack still in the hallway?” “Can’t you ever learn to put your dishes in the dishwasher?” We keep repeating ourselves thinking that this time he/she will get it, they’ll finally do what I want them to do! Perhaps if we could listen to ourselves or make a quick video, we might see and hear insanity in action. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results doesn’t get us anywhere and it doesn’t help the relationships we have with our children. Continue reading

Posted in Connection and love, Routines, Setting limits | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Non-stop Negotiation Getting You Down?

As the parent it doesn’t always feel so great when all of your positions get shaved away by your budding courtroom lawyer. It is exhausting. Setting limits firmly and still honoring the dignity of your child isn’t really hard, but it takes practice. Continue reading

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Time Out? Time In?

The idea that a grumpy child is going to go sit somewhere and calmly think about what they “should have done” is quite preposterous. Did you? I didn’t. When I was sent to my room I spent the whole time thinking about how unfair the situation was or plotting how I was either going to make that particular parent “pay.” Just guessing, but I don’t think that was what my parents were aiming for. Continue reading

Posted in Growing Responsibility, Self regulation, Setting limits | Leave a comment

Rhythm and Routines

Contributed by Jody McVittie, MD School has started and the excitement of the first week has worn off. Do you find yourself nagging in the morning? Wondering if your student will ever to be able to make it out the … Continue reading

Posted in Connection and love, Growing Responsibility, Mutual Respect, Routines, Setting limits | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment