Tag Archives: discipline

Time-in for Children: Re-gathering Response-ability

Children (and all of us) do better when they feel better. Our culture tends to want to “teach” children who are misbehaving by having them feel worse “so they’ll learn not to do it again.” We forget that if the child had felt included, important, or weren’t so tired or hungry she likely would have handled the situation well to begin with. Instead of teaching by hurting the goal of a time-in is to help our child learn how to regain their “better” sense of self so that she can come back to the situation and meet the challenge. With practice, children get better at “re-gathering” by themselves. Remember, this kind of “feeling better” is not happiness – it is a sense of being able to respond (be response-able) from a centered place. Continue reading

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Posted in Connection and love, Feelings and emotions, Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs, Self regulation | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Whose problem is it anyway?

One of the many little posters my parenting instructor used read, “Whose problem is it, anyway?” He tried to teach us to recognize which problems were ours (as parents) and which problems really “belonged” to the children. Continue reading

Posted in Conflict, Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Consequences or Solutions?

Solutions help children learn from their mistakes – and invite both responsibility and dignity Continue reading

Posted in Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs, Setting limits | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Why Kids Lie and What to do About It

Contributed by Melanie Miller, M.Ed. Lying is one of those behaviors that can certainly bring up a lot of strong feelings in parents. Understanding why kids lie and what we can do as parents to decrease lying, and promote honesty, … Continue reading

Posted in Growing Responsibility, Mistakes yours and theirs, Mutual Respect | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Connect Before Correct

Do you sometimes sense that you are just not getting through to your child? They just aren’t listening? How about trying an experiment:

Try Connecting Before Correcting
Kids who feel “felt” are much more likely to be able to work with you instead of against you. (This is not about negotiating, but instead about leadership with connection.) Continue reading

Posted in Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Setting limits | Tagged , , , | 4 Comments

Try Kindness and Firmness at the Same Time

Being kind and firm at the same time helps keep peace at home and teaches our children the skills they need to be kind with others while still respecting themselves. Continue reading

Posted in Connection and love, Mutual Respect, Setting limits | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments